You think you’ve seen her naked because she took her clothes off?
Tell me about her dreams. Tell me what breaks her heart. What is she passionate about, and what makes her cry. Tell me about her childhood. Better yet, tell me one more story about her that you’re not in.
You’ve seen her skin, and you’ve touched her body. But… you still know as much about her as a book you once found, but never got around to opening.
I hear the sounds of the birds bright and early in the morning, knowing that’s their love song makes my heart melt. The sight of an elderly couple still in their early stages of last acting like teenagers giggling whilst they have their midday tea.
The smell of the sea gives me goosebumps. I always get a sudden urge to jump straight in. I’m sure that I’m a mermaid underneath it all. I can feel it bursting inside me as I have no fear of depth but a great fear of shallow living.
Travel is a necessity, the buzz, the smells, the anxieties make everything painlessly scary. It’s the drug that keeps me addicted and holds no boundaries for me to explore dangerously. My soul is full of desire, desire to always keep on living. Living for the small moments that I will forever cherish. No one will understand however much I longingly want them to but all I can say is; “what is stopping you?”.
Yourself is the answer. We have this fear of change inside our heart and minds which flashes a murderous red with warning flags all around. How will you adapt? That’s what were born for. I get a tingling sensation from the bottom of my feet that sores straight up my spine and gives me ringing in my ears when I think about hoisting my bag and running along into the distance.
Give it a go. The worst that could happen is you return to your daily routine that you say you dislike so much.
“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about things going badly. Let the lover be.”
Have you ever met someone who took your breath away instantly?
Someone who understands you and loves you for it. Their eyes are fixated and have a calmness to them?
No questions of doubt or that unknowing feeling, just fresh and exciting?
I have always been skeptical about finding true love. Most people are. Everyone longs for a fairy tale, and like me, assume it will never happen. There’s always pressure, anxiety or mistrust.
I thought I wouldn’t have a fairy tale. Not that I long for something magical in a sense, just happiness.
I wrote “Craving” in third person for people to relate to a short story of feelings and emotions between two lovers, soul mates. It is a reflection of my relationship. A relationship unexpected but overdue.
Feelings for me are something not many people will receive. When someone receives my attention, heart and trust it’s a big thing. I have been scared for many years but now I’m wholeheartedly in love.
The man who has me is someone who I consider my best friend. A soul who traps mine and will forever keep it. A thousands words spoken between us or a thousands words repeating themselves when looking into each others eyes. I know it all sounds soppy but who doesn’t want that butterfly feeling. He is everything and more and never ceases to amaze me.
He is admirable and admired by me and isn’t afraid to tell me. Telling people how i feel is something I haven’t been too good at, maybe a relation to bad experiences, but this person has put the confidence in me to speak again. I see my future bright, long and a whirlwind of adventures to come.
I’m grateful for the path I have been given, my missing puzzle piece to finally be truly happy. Now it’s time to breathe and smile and look forward to amazing things to come.
He only has eyes for her, his heart flutters. He would never let her know this though. The way she smiles and laughs about life in front of his eyes.. like a rolling picture.
Slow motion. Catches him.
Her presence has him hooked and can feel himself attract towards her as she beams life and happiness. His eyes trace her skin, fingers following. His chest tightens with anxiety as he watches her watch him.
She adores him too, she only has eyes for him.
She covers it up in the same respect that he does. An undesirable desire to continuously remind him of how much he means to her. She finds herself smirking in a hazy daydream with a slight sweat on her palms. No speaking, just stares. Looks with a thousand words.
But she breathes slow.
Once alone the passion between these two romantics is admirable, something of a film. Tosses and turns between soft silk sheets. His hands run down her skin so softly he barely touches her but to her she feels everything. Now they can spill their desires.
She whispers in his ear of nothing but sweet truths and vulnerabilities.
He has her undoubtedly.
When his hands are empty of her there’s no word to describe it.
Currently blasting through Thailand to the Malay border in one of those infamous minivans. Stevie Wonder in my ears, sunglasses on. Rays of sunshine teasing my skin through the palm trees. So relaxed in a culture that is always on fast forward.
I can easily say these moments are my most reflective as I watch the world zip by. So many hundreds of thoughts repeating, it’s nice to just take a second and…
A 16 hour journey sounds the worst thing but it’s just another day in the life of chasing paradise I suppose. Not all is lost, I could be at home longing for this excitement. The dream was to work like a dog to make it come true and it did.
Finally arriving in Thailand was like a dream come true. As two years previous I had only had a taster and of course every traveller gets itchy feet. It was like a breath of fresh air but within a familiar territory. Funnily enough I only had one major case of de ja vu from the previous trip and that was the arrival with my backpack on after 3 days travel straight from England to Koh Tao.
For those of you not so educated about Koh Tao, it’s the smallest island out of; itself, Koh Phangan and Koh Samui. Its an island on the route of where every traveller goes in Thailand but only is it MY wonderland.
When I had finally reached my destination the islands exterior had changed somewhat but not it’s soul. Not the spirit that I fell in love with. I sighed thinking..
..I can carry on my love affair happily.
Being on my own has opened new doors both with my mind and experiences. I appreciate the sunset more, the people around me are stories to read and treasure. Merging into a family of people with their own uniqueness and special qualities who just ooze life is so refreshing. So many amazing people. No need for names in wonderland I became close with old and new friends. Some of who I had originally met on the island and became eternally connected with. I got to see them again and relive the old times and create new memories that I will never forget.
It’s not just a view with a bar to look out of or even a bar with a view to look at; it’s a whirlwind of escapism, a pure feeling of happiness. The sense of life when you walk through onto that open decking with the world at your feet and the sea in your face.
Aside from the view, Serenity holds special souls that I have had the pleasure of meeting and will forever cherish their presence. A family in which people come and go but we will forever remain brothers and sisters. I have been able to connect with myself here and it’s something that I needed to do.
I still to this day close my eyes and surround myself with the beautiful silence. No escaping, left alone to appreciate yourself and the world we live in. Below is only a handful of the people who were at the start of my journey.